Im going to spend some time in London so... I just wanna take notes of everything ive been doing here - when still in brasil - and when there... with the majesty.
This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.
A brazilian living in London
sábado, abril 20, 2002
De:Natalie (natalie@netpreference.co.uk)
Assunto:Junior Vacancy in NW London
Newsgroups:uk.jobs, uk.jobs.offered, uk.jobs.wanted
Data:2002-03-25 08:08:31 PST
Vacancy for junior position within a young and dynamic Internet Services
company. No previous experience needed but must be computer literate and in
love with the Internet! We are a supplier to the Adult Industry so you must
also be broad minded.
Please forward your CV and details to myself:
natalie@netpreference.co.uk
Or by post:
Natalie Adams
NetPreference
Kingsbury House
468 Church Lane
Kingsbury
London NW9 8UA
6:56 da tarde -
sexta-feira, abril 19, 2002
Ive been so tired lately... you know... just tired... and also feeling asleep. All the time. Misteriously, dont feel too hungry. Guess its a mix of busy days with depression. Dont know.
I have so many things to think... but I dont want to. I see a so nice project changing its way and I have no strengh to fight for it. It seems like I dont care anymore. And alll I can think is about my new life.
Today my friend Diego (raptor) asked if he could join me in my trip to London... I said it was fine... But that the only difference for him by going with me would be that I would be someone he knows in London, thats all. As we would live in different places and I would be working the whole day. He said he was thinking if we couldnt share a place... I said no... as I would be in a family house.
He is a lucky guy... his mother makes lots of things for him... he has never worked in his life... and he has (only) now completed his high school, and not in a regular course. He studies english in a nice shcool... and has no knowledge of the world. Just spends his mother money and patience.
He is not the kind that moves fast to do something... has been trying to find a job but has no specific skills and wants to make good money, completely out of reality. He is also a depressive guy who used to take medicine for that, but just _felt like_ stopping, against docs orders.
Now he wants to join me... maybe it would be good for him... as he would be mostly _alone_ there... would have to make for himself. And theres one good thing for him... the lucky has a EU passport!!!! He could work there legally and would have no problems in immigration.
I got a sleeping bag from my aunt Iara. Very nice... had my first night sleep in it last night. So warm...
I have to email brazilian consulate and ask if i can ask for a Czech Republic visa when in London... as Czech consulate here just dont reply my emails!!!!!!!! :-/
quinta-feira, abril 18, 2002
Im going to have some lunch now, ok? Will have a busy day... Hey watch this: '~~" ... good uh? I can use signs here... not like that crappy aol where I can't use them. Very needed in my language!
Ok, gotta go.
First time Im writting from college (yeah, right, university here, you guys know that). It is pretty weird as we use Linux here and in this Opera (www.opera.com) this window looks veeeeeeeeeeeeery different.... imagine, i can just see about 3 words I write at a time!!! Will post is... as Im afraid of losing it.
11:45 da manhã -
quarta-feira, abril 17, 2002
A proposito, meu desemprenho no concurso:
Portugues: 24 de 30
Matematica: 12 de 16
Informatica: 13 de 16
Legislacao: 03 de 18
Eh... fui muuuuuito mal em legislacao. Interessante eh que, olhando a prova... tudo que eu fiquei entre 2, eu marquei a errada. :-) Eh fodan, neh?
Tah, nao vou ser func. da prefeitura.... por enquanto.
10:11 da manhã -
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segunda-feira, abril 15, 2002
Hmmm coffee.... it smels so good.
Just having my coffee, with milk and cake. Have some work to do till go out for my class this morning. I dont feel like teaching today... like teaching anymore. Its funny to wake up tired. And with those puffy (sp?) eyes here. I am trying cold water to make it back to normal... does it work?
You know when you are so tired of repeated scenes that you just give up of saying anything?
I dont feel like talking anymore. I just know for sure now that I am alone. And guess I will be alone for all my life. The more I could be with someone I know I will be alone. It is not a question of dating, marring, living together, whatever... I feel like people just get from me what they want. or how they want it.
I know I cant be myself, and cant ever trust someone as if I didnt exist. Cant just close my eyes, live and let live... Yes, that is the feeling... a constant vigilance.
But I dont want to live like this. I assume that who is around me, my relatives/family, my friends, my _lovers_, or is with me, helping me (and being helped of course) or against me.
The other day, early this week, I was thinking that for the first time in my life I felt like someone loved me more than I loved that person. And that is something I never thought in my life it could happen. Even with this person specifically.
But, I dont know... theres something wrong. I believe that when we love we dont hurt.
I guess I'll never have a 'pink' life... it can happen with lots of people but me. Who I am to deserve it?
I should just be thankful I believe for having someone who likes me, in a very strange way, but he does.
But I can't. Sorry. I can not live like this. Always afraid.
Things will be different from now on.
My report for tomorrow morning is over. Good. Hate working in tears. Hate being in tears. Hate all of that.
All I wanted now is go to bed and sleep. And never again wake up.
Bem, tenho um concursinho basico hoje. Na verdade, meu primeiro concurso publico - fora o vestibular - que farei na vida. O legal eh que nao tem a tensao do vestibuar... que eu nao estudei coisa alguma, e que meu futuro nao depende disto. Mas seria tri bom passar... assim... sabe? Sabe aqueles concursos que as pessoas passam e depois de um tempo, quando ateh jah esqueceram, sao chamadas? Bahhh tri bom.
Jah separei o tal comprovante de inscricao, documento de identidade e caneta esferografica azul (ou preta, peguei uma azul de 1,99 que eh uma beleza!)
Its cold outside.. good... long time I couldnt sleep like tonight... you know... feeling that little cold... only your eyes not under the blankets... hmmmm
11:01 da manhã -
just one more thing... this idea of a cafe... *sigh*... cant wait for it. 12:48 da manhã -
im tired, very tired... its late... bye. gone.
12:47 da manhã -
